Hearing him talk about his mother, about his intact family, makes my chest hurt for a second, like someone pierced it with a needle.
I confessed to Tobias, soon after that, that I had lost my entire family.And he assured me that he was my family now.
Dead people can be our heroes because they cant disappoint us later; they only improve over time, as we forget more and more about them.
No matter how long you train someone to be brave, you never know if they are or not until something real happens.
Psyche you out?" I repeat. "I'm your FRIEND. I wouldn't do that."He doesn't say anything. I can tell he doesn't believe me not quite.
Most of the time I was so close to falling into the darkest, emptiest place inside me that I just tried to feel nothing at all
I feel the monster of grief again, writhing in the empty space where my heart and stomach used to be. I gasp, pressing both palms to my chest. Now the monstrous thing has its claws around my throat, squeezing my airway. I twist and put my head between my knees, breathing until the strangled feeling leaves me.
Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can’t escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other
One ChoiceOne Choice, decided your friends.One Choice, defines your beliefs.One Choice, determines your loyalties - Forever.ONCE CHOICE CAN TRANSFORM YOU
Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's fascinating." He releases me but doesn't pull away, his hand grazing my jaw, my neck. "Sometimes I just...want to see it again. Want to see you awake.
Yeah, well," I say, "I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be.""That's not entirely true." He smiles at me. "That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect
Okay. Then...I can talk. Ask me something.""Okay." He laughs shakily in my ear. "Why is your heart racing Tris?"I cringe and say, "Well, I...I barely know you. I barely know you and I'm crammed up against you in a box, Four, what do you think?"..."Maybe y
But when I do feel all the strength go out of me, and I fall to my knees beside the table and I think I cry, then, or at least I want to, and everything inside me screams for just one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more.
I'll be your family now," he says."I love you," I say. (....)He stares at me. I wait with my hands clutching his arms for stability as he considers his response.He frowns at me. "Say it again.""Tobias," I say, "I love you.
It reminds me that no embrace will ever feel the same again, because no one will ever be like her again, because she's gone. She's gone, and crying feels so useless, so stupid, but it's all I can do.
I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyaty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could.
I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.
Then I realize what it is. It's him. Something about him makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.
Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.
We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.
